i dunt know whats wrong wif me..
to say its becoz of the influence of the syaitans'.. but they r not even here now in this holly month of ramadhan
it looks like all those things i did comes from deep within myself..
O Allah, i beg for Your forgiveness in every steps i take, every act i play..
one keep asking from U to take one back to You, but now only one realise the reason Ur decreed does not allow it for happen back then..
one deeds are too weak.. one sins weigh down the balance from within
Ur servant here are too ashamed to meet U, though in this heart, it longs to do so..
and here, in this temporary world, one could not even meet a person, especially those who one knew well, without the feeling of one shame, and one know one is not needed here at all..
the daieilallah work will continue despite one being here or not..
each minutes, one is afraid that one has not even done anythinge for dis deen..
please help one here to keep straight on this path, please O Lord.. Please help Ur servant here Allah.. please do.
okay, today i'll now officially admit, im psycho..
when there's no ins' around.. i'll talk to myself, loud.. like im havin a converstion with a real person..
there's as if 2 or 3 person here.. hoho
ysn! u're seriously goin crazy..